I received this following letter by email from my buddy the President:
This is my last campaign, and I’m ready to give it all I’ve got.
I know supporters like you are, too.
In the past, you pitched in to help when we needed it most. Thank you so much for your support in these final weeks.
Please donate $25 or more before tonight’s deadline:
I must say, I don’t recall sending the man any money. But that was four years ago and I was filled with hope and optimism. It must be so. Besides he would know since he was the one who received the money, don’t you think? He must know me pretty well to address me by my first name and then sign the note with his first name, just like he really knows me and it’s not just some sort of computer trick to make me think he knows me and just wants me to send him some money. I’m not sure. But then he didn’t really sign it: the name is just typed. So I suspect it is just a trick.
It does occur to me that like every politician running for office — and many who are not — he has his hand out and is eager for a donation. I dare say he would like me to give him even more than the requested $25.00. But his marketing people figure that’s all I’m good for, I suppose. Perhaps they are right. Or, again, perhaps I’m not even good for that amount. After all I read that he has people (and especially corporations) giving him tons of money in the most obscene election year ever, thanks to “Citizens United.” The corporations, of course, are buttering their bread on both sides so they play a win-win game: it doesn’t matter who wins, they win.
What will I have coming to me if I give in to this request? Will I get a thank-you from my buddy Barack? And will he ask me what he could do for me to let me know how grateful he is for my help — pitiful though it was? I wonder. If this sort of letter went out to all of Barack’s many friends (and I dare say the number of large indeed) then he is going to owe everyone something. That’s how the game is played. But I expect since this is his last campaign this is the last time I will hear from him. Politicians are a fickle lot and they tend not to keep their promises; I’m pretty sure he will forget all about me as soon as the election is over. That’s how it seems to work.
And what’s with the “midnight deadline”? Do you think if I wait until next week or next month he won’t accept the money? Maybe I should drop him a note and tell him I am a bit strapped at present and next month might be a better time.. But he probably won’t respond: I know he’s pretty busy. But then I really must do something to help make sure the other guy doesn’t get in, don’t I? Besides, apparently the President is a close personal friend.